You know you're old when...

Your husband says, "Happy Anniversary, dear!" As you, with your pillow perm hair and pillow squashed face... stagger to the bathroom scratching your wobbly ass (clothed in a flannel nightgown AND long underwear!) ... And you mumble something appropriate, make a haven't-brushed-my-teeth kissy noise, and shut the door behind you.

Only to emerge a few minutes later saying, "29! Freakin TWENTY NINE YEARS! Holy Shit!"

Yes, we're old.

Next year, we must have a party. You know, before the dementia sets in...