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Oh, the pain...

You'll die in your Sleep.

You will die peacefully in your sleep after having a really awesome life.

'How will you die?' at QuizGalaxy.com

create your own personalized map of the USA
or check out ourCalifornia travel guide

hmmm... I need to get out more!

Let's discuss the proper decorum for releasing gas while at work.

Would you:

A. Claim you can't smell anything, thus giving you the right to fart at will.
B. Scurry off to the restroom when you feel the urge.
C. Warn your coworkers of an upcoming episode.
D. Keep silent and/or apologize after the event horizon has dropped them to their knees.
E. Casually drop a "Silent But Deadly" and act as if nothing happened.

My co-worker constantly does A and E. I am finding it difficult not to retch and run screaming from the building. Yes, I realize she is old. But is that justification for the overwhelming STENCH? And why does she scurry up to involve me in a conversation just when she has let one escape her asshole from the gates of hell?

All donations of air spray gratefully accepted...

You know you're old when...

Your husband says, "Happy Anniversary, dear!" As you, with your pillow perm hair and pillow squashed face... stagger to the bathroom scratching your wobbly ass (clothed in a flannel nightgown AND long underwear!) ... And you mumble something appropriate, make a haven't-brushed-my-teeth kissy noise, and shut the door behind you.

Only to emerge a few minutes later saying, "29! Freakin TWENTY NINE YEARS! Holy Shit!"

Yes, we're old.

Next year, we must have a party. You know, before the dementia sets in...

Okay, in just a few minutes, it will be the day of the 29th year of our anniversary. Geez, can't believe I've been married to the snoring sonofabitch for almost 30 years!

I guess I should start planning the party for next year.

You are The Empress

Beauty, happiness, pleasure, success, luxury, dissipation.

The Empress is associated with Venus, the feminine planet, so it represents,
beauty, charm, pleasure, luxury, and delight. You may be good at home
decorating, art or anything to do with making things beautiful.

The Empress is a creator, be it creation of life, of romance, of art or business. While the Magician is the primal spark, the idea made real, and the High Priestess is the one who gives the idea a form, the Empress is the womb where it gestates and grows till it is ready to be born. This is why her symbol is Venus, goddess of beautiful things as well as love. Even so, the Empress is more Demeter, goddess of abundance, then sensual Venus. She is the giver of Earthly gifts, yet at the same time, she can, in anger withhold, as Demeter did when her daughter, Persephone, was kidnapped. In fury and grief, she kept the Earth barren till her child was returned to her.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

It's my party...




...and one of the kings arrived headless! Ut oh!

My sister shops for me year round at garage sales, so every year on my birthday I have a delicious box of "found" treasures to unwrap. These 3 Kings were in the box today, along with assorted other Kings and Santa boots and plastic fish and mean cocktail napkins...

I think the headless one can be repaired. They are so '70s aren't they? Right down to their still intact price tags from the department store in our home town (that has been closed for 20 years.)

Happy Birthday to me! and thanks, Noodle!

In the year 2007 I resolve to: Not lose any pencils. Get your resolution here.

What Kind of Reader Are You? Your Result: Dedicated Reader   You are always trying to find the time to get back to your book. You are convinced that the world would be a much better place if only everyone read more.
Obsessive-Compulsive Bookworm
Literate Good Citizen
Book Snob
Fad Reader
Non-Reader
What Kind of Reader Are You? Create Your Own Quiz

My son is home for Christmas. All is right with the world.

I am currently seeking a burial plot for my husband, who has watched me worry and fret for 2 weeks wondering where in the heck our Marine was... he must be killed for lying/deceiving/plotting and keeping secrets from me, the mother of his sons.

It doesn't have to be a big burial plot. There will not be much left of him by the time I get finished.

Merry Christmas!

Today I had some of my students make snowflakes for me for a winter themed bulletin board. I was surprised that almost all of them didn't get the concept, or had never made a snowflake! What is this world coming to? So I found them a fun place on the web to practice on... some of you *snowflake challenged* folks may find it helpful, too!

http://snowflakes.lookandfeel.com/

Can a girl get a margarita in here?



Why, you sure can! Just stick these plastic bottles in your freezer and wait and then you'll have a lovely frozen delicious margarita just by opening the bottle and dumping the lovely perfectly frozen sludge into a glass. Because it comes in big bottles you know, just like wine. This is just the handy 4-pack.

It's called Azul, it's agave wine. yummmmmmm!

So I finally finished the blanket/quilt for Lizzy's baby. She's due in 3.5 weeks! So exciting! And if you can't tell by the color, it's a GIRL! Lizzy picked out the fabric and pattern, I am just the sewing drudge. With love, of course!

You scored as III - The Empress. The Empress is a maternal symbol. She is the mother figure who loves, nurtures and protects. She will protect you, she will always be there when you are in trouble. When you fall over and graze your knee, the Empress will kiss it better. Yet she is not a weak figure. Her compassion is strength. If her children are threatened she will stop at nothing to protect them. If well aspected in a Tarot spread, the Empress can symbolise security, protection and unconditional love. If badly aspected it can represent over-protectiveness, fear of risk taking and refusal to face the real world. III - The Empress 94% II - The High Priestess 94% XI: Justice 69% XIII: Death 69% IV - The Emperor 69% I - Magician 56% X - Wheel of Fortune 56% 0 - The Fool 50% XVI: The Tower 44% XIX: The Sun 38% VIII - Strength 31% XV: The Devil 19% VI: The Lovers 13% Which Major Arcana Tarot Card Are You? created with QuizFarm.com

Satis



Peace-loving and tolerant, receptive to wealth, analytical and science-minded, tender towards those who are not ignorant, can sometimes be angry.

Colors: male: deep red, female: deep blue
Compatible Signs: Amon-Ra, Set
Dates: Jan 1 - Jan 7, Jun 19 - Jun 28, Sep 1 - Sep 7, Nov 18 - Nov 26

Role: Goddess who protected the sources of the Nile and goddess of the cataract at the border of Egypt and Nubia
Appearance: A woman wearing the white crown of Upper Egypt with antelope horns on the sides.
Sacred animal: antelope

What is Your Egyptian Sign